Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Testes

Blog from the pod? I think so. Especially since my laptop is fucked up again. I'm lost without it.

So testes testes!! Will this work?

Sunday, December 23, 2007

The labour....

**I actually started this just before Christmas, but only just finished it now in February. Mason is 9 weeks old already!**

I'm not really sure why I feel the need to write about the events of my labour, it's not like I'll ever truly forget! Alas, it's something I want to do. I'm guessing it may get a bit graphic or perhaps a little too much information. My friend K better not read this until after she has her little one! THEN we'll talk girl! Soooo here I go...living through it again, this time without the pain!

We got the call from the hospital just after 9am saying that it wasn't busy and I should come in to be induced. I hung up the phone and just sat there stunned for a moment. I got a little teary eyed thinking 'this is it!' Once we were ready we headed out to the hospital. By the time we got there it was quite a bit busier then they had expected. I waited in triage for most of the afternoon to be induced. My doctor was on-call (as planned) and she popped in to see how I was doing. Somewhere around 3:00 she came and put the first dose of gel in. She gave me the option right before to go home and they could try it next week since my blood pressure was good at that moment. I was there and just wanted to get things going so she went ahead. As soon as she was done I told her I've decided to wait (I can be an ass). Apparently she knows me well enough to know that I was kidding. My doctor had checked me and said I was about 2cm dilated. They had to monitor me for an hour after. I started feeling something almost instantly. Very mild and about 20 minutes apart. No big deal. We were sent home and told that we should come back around 9pm to be checked. If nothing was happening I would receive a second dose of the gel. If I went into labour sooner I could come back. When we got home I opted for a nap. I was awoken at about 7:15 with pains. I knew I was having contractions and they were only about 5 minutes apart. We live about 30 minutes from the hospital so we decided we'd just get ready and head in. In that 30 minute drive my contractions went from being 5 minutes apart to being about 2-3 minutes apart. By the time we were in the labour and delivery triage they were bad enough that I couldn't talk through them and definitely needed to focus on getting through each one. No second dose needed. My doctor was off for the night (and would be back in in the morning). The doctor on call checked me after being monitored for a bit and decided I was still only about 2cm. They were going to send me home except my contractions were very strong and close together and we live rather far away. Instead she broke my water (what a weird feeling!) and we decided to walk around the hospital for a few hours to try to get things going. I was in a lot of pain. Back pain. I had no idea back labour was so bad...and I was having a lot of it. It was far worse to deal with then any pain in my abdomen. Yelch! My husband couldn't rub my back hard enough. I don't think I would wish back labour on anyone. What made it hard was that I couldn't lie down or sit with that back pain which made monitoring difficult. We walked around until about 2:30am. The doctor checked me and I was only 2-3cm dilated! I was really disappointed! I was getting tired too. I continued to labour in triage. I was the only one there at that point. Some lady came in with her partner and someone from the ER. I heard, "this lady needs help." Her partner had apparently stopped the car right outside the ER doors and brought her in. He said he had to go park the car before it got towed, and would do that now that she was in the hands of the nurse. She delivered within 5 minutes (!!!!) and he missed it! I was envious of how fast she delivered (and part of me wanted to strangle her, but I won't get into that!). Somewhere around 4 am I got a shot of morphine for the pain. I couldn't get an epidural until I was transferred to the labour and delivery room I would actually deliver in. The morphine was okay. It took the edge off and made me really dopey in between contractions. Honestly, the time from there until about 6:30 when I was finally transferred to my room is blurry. I have no idea. I was in so much pain. Already about 11 hours of hard contractions 2 minutes apart.
In the room they started the IV to prep me for that epidural, which I finally got around 8am. I was so worried about having these insane contractions while he was doing the epidural, but somehow I managed. I was surprised that it didn't hurt at all...and how fast it works! I was sooo happy after. I could finally rest for a bit. The epidural made me reallllllly itchy though. I wanted to scratch my skin right off my neck, arms and chest!! At this point I was only about 3cm. The epidural stopped my labour so they started pitocin. It took me until about 1:00 to get to 5cm. I was feeling a lot of pressure too. So much so that I was back to doing all that lovely breathing to get through each "contraction" that caused this increase in pressure. Within 20 minutes I went from 5cm right to 10cm. The problem was that my epidural failed in some ways. I wasn't feeling the full pain of the contractions (just insane amounts of pressure), but whenever they did anything (like check me) I could feel it. I was practically crawling over the back of the bed it hurt so much. I also spiked a fever which affected Mason's heart rate so they wanted to start some antibiotics. I started to push and the doctor realized that the baby was in the "Occiput Posterior" position. This means that his head was facing my backbone. Later the doctor told me this is why I had such intense back pain and a longer labour then anticipated. It was decided that I'd better get a 'top-up' of the meds because she was threatening forceps or the vacuum if he didn't turn! They called the anesthesiologist to come back and give me another hard dose. I was so numb I couldn't even lift my legs or even move them. I still had some sensation for whatever reason (probably better for pushing but not fun. I guess I'm a suck) which kind of baffled the doctor. I started pushing again sometime after 3:30 I think. It was really a blur. I remember wondering why they wanted me to push so hard if he was the wrong way. I honestly have little memory of the time between then and 4:02 when Mason was born. I remember turning my head and to the side and closing my eyes saying, "I need a break. I can't do it." I felt something come out and thought maybe that was the head finally. All of a sudden there was this precious little baby on my stomach. I was completely shocked. I fully admit to sobbing like a baby.

I had some not so shining moments during the labour. I didn't yell and cuss like my husband thought I would. I did however swear once kind of loud during a really hard contraction right before I got the epidural. It was a solid "shiiiiiitttt!" through clenched teeth! I was truly amazed at how great I felt after he was born. I was lucky not to have to push for very long either. Gone were the contractions, the back pain and the sciatic nerve pain! I once again had to be numbed while the doctor put 2 small stitches in. Apparently my skin is so sensitive that I had the 2 small tears before I really started pushing. Meh.
Although blurry is my memory, I remember wanting to know what the anesthesiologist's name was so we could name our kid that and saying this would be an only child. It took exactly 2 weeks before I said, "I could seriously do this again." Part of me wants to do it again to see if I can do better, be more alert and less tired. I feel like I missed out in some areas because I was so out of it by the end.

Interestingly enough, about 40 minutes after he was born, a "Code Yellow" came over the hospital speakers. My aunt is a director at the hospital so she new instantly what was going on. She muttered "Shit..are you kidding me?!" Apparently a code yellow means that a baby is missing. Tell this to someone who has just given birth to her life and see how well that goes over. The hospital was instantly locked up so nobody could come in or leave. Luckily the baby was found. The 17 year old father took it or something. I still couldn't rest easy though. Jeesh!

Recovering was okay. The first couple of days it was hard to get in and out of bed and up and down the stairs, but it was doable. In the hospital they had these pads that you bent and cracked and then they'd get all cold...they were great!! At home I settled for a cold compress, but that was only needed for the first couple days. By the end of the first week I felt much better, just a whole lot more tired!
I didn't have 'issues' with hormones while I was pregnant, but after....whoa. I was sooo emotional for the first couple weeks. I cried a lot. Especially while looking at Mason. I also got overwhelmed at times and cried tears of "I can't do this." My biggest emotional upset was watching my husband's dad interact with Mason and thinking about how Mason won't know his other "papa" like this. I remembered all the things I did with my dad and cried for Mason and for myself and this loss. Luckily, I'm feeling a lot better now!! I still get teary watching The Baby Story on TLC. I totally understand now how painful/amazing/exhausting/overwhelming and life altering it can be and every time I watch it, I relive it.

It's hard to describe the pains of labour, but it's even harder to describe just how much you love your child. I can list the reasons I love my husband, but I simply love Mason because he is here and he is mine. I finally understand how much my mom loves me, and we've grown so much more closer since I've become a mom. What a truly amazing thing this motherhood is.
I am so blessed.

Sunday, December 16, 2007

He's here!

Mason Glen Martin
Born December 14th, 2007.

4:02pm
6lbs, 14oz
19 inches


Will update all the "details" later...Must go snuggle. Amazing how someone so small has taken my heart. I've never felt love like this before. Amazing. Truly amazing.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Well tomorrow is the big day. I think I'm finally feeling a bit nervous and anxious. This tied up with such excitement and anticipation!!

I can't wait to hold little Bean in my arms!

Stay tuned.....

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

The light at the end of the...ummm...tunnel

I had another Non-Stress Test yesterday at the hospital and everything was still normal. The big news is that I'm scheduled in to be induced on Thursday!!!!

We just have to wait for a nurse to call us to come in in case it's really busy. They don't want me to have to sit around in the waiting room. So although Thursday is "loose" in terms of time, it will be the day they force me into labour (whether it's morning, noon, or night)! It's so surreal and hasn't really sunk in enough for me to get anxious or nervous. I probably won't sleep Wednesday though.
In the meantime, I have a lot to do.....

Sunday, December 9, 2007

I forgot to add these pictures!

After the last update I wanted to add a few pictures from one of my showers that my aunt had given us on November 25th. Wow..have I gotten big or what?! :P

Me and the daddy-to-be! I'm very lucky to have him. He dotes on me and makes sure I'm comfortable. He's so excited to be a dad! For the record, I have no idea what the heck I leaned my belly into. It's a consistent theme, and a consistent problem! The belly has a mind of it's own!

My mom is on the left and my aunt (a second mom!) to the right. The picture makes me laugh because it looks like I've stuffed a pillow in my shirt. I can also see how I've 'dropped' in this picture compared to other pictures of me floating around.

Me and one of my (many!) little cousins. This one is extra special to me though! She was a big help to me. We finally got the car seat and stroller which was a big relief to Mr. Sass. Soon the bear will be replaced with a Bean!

I'll spare you the 500 pictures of me opening gifts, and go for the one with the cake! hehe It was a great day, and once again I was spoiled rotten by very generous family and friends! Now we just need the baby....

The Good and the Bad

Well time is a ticking. It's just a waiting game now. Waiting and wondering. When?
When I saw the doctor this past week my blood pressure was up again (I had been out all day and not resting so it's my own fault). She did the ol' check-a-roo and said things are pretty favourable to be induced and the head is really low (you don't say! I can feel the pressure thanks!). They tried to get me in for Monday (tomorrow) but there is no room in the inn so to speak. Instead I'll go in for (another) non-stress test and see if something can be arranged for later this week. It will depend on the tests I guess and if there is room. She doesn't want me going past my due date if my blood pressure numbers are in any way elevated. It completely blows my mind that within a week I could be holding my little bean in my arms! I can't watch all those TLC shows that I love because now I get too emotional (and feel like a dolt) thinking about how I'll get to experience all of that so soon.

On another note, we had a bit of a scare on Friday night. I was home alone and *may* have climbed up on a stool to get something, and fallen backwards. I landed pretty hard on the floor on my butt/back. I had the wind knocked out of me. I called Mr. Sass and the 'telehealth' number to see if I should be concerned. My mind was racing anyway. Even though I didn't land on my stomach I did land hard and I wasn't sure if I could have hurt the baby. The nurse suggested going in to L&D to be assessed, so I did. I wasn't bleeding or having contractions and Bean was still moving around so I was feeling a bit less stressed. Everything obviously checked out fine, but I did have to listen to the (still ongoing) lectures of Mr. Sass for being on the stool, which I do deserve and accept. So stupid. I'm still paying for it. My tail bone/butt is sooo sore from it taking the brunt of my fall along with my wrist. I'm pretty sure it's got a mild sprain, but it's funny how no one at the hospital (nor me for that matter) was too concerned with anything but the baby. And that's the way it should be. I'll be fine, but no more climbing. Lesson learned!