**I actually started this just before Christmas, but only just finished it now in February. Mason is 9 weeks old already!**
I'm not really sure why I feel the need to write about the events of my labour, it's not like I'll ever truly forget! Alas, it's something I want to do. I'm guessing it may get a bit graphic or perhaps a little too much information. My friend K better not read this until after she has her little one! THEN we'll talk girl! Soooo here I go...living through it again, this time without the pain!
We got the call from the hospital just after 9am saying that it wasn't busy and I should come in to be induced. I hung up the phone and just sat there stunned for a moment. I got a little teary eyed thinking 'this is it!' Once we were ready we headed out to the hospital. By the time we got there it was quite a bit busier then they had expected. I waited in triage for most of the afternoon to be induced. My doctor was on-call (as planned) and she popped in to see how I was doing. Somewhere around 3:00 she came and put the first dose of gel in. She gave me the option right before to go home and they could try it next week since my blood pressure was good at that moment. I was there and just wanted to get things going so she went ahead. As soon as she was done I told her I've decided to wait (I can be an ass). Apparently she knows me well enough to know that I was kidding. My doctor had checked me and said I was about 2cm dilated. They had to monitor me for an hour after. I started feeling something almost instantly. Very mild and about 20 minutes apart. No big deal. We were sent home and told that we should come back around 9pm to be checked. If nothing was happening I would receive a second dose of the gel. If I went into labour sooner I could come back. When we got home I opted for a nap. I was awoken at about 7:15 with pains. I knew I was having contractions and they were only about 5 minutes apart. We live about 30 minutes from the hospital so we decided we'd just get ready and head in. In that 30 minute drive my contractions went from being 5 minutes apart to being about 2-3 minutes apart. By the time we were in the labour and delivery triage they were bad enough that I couldn't talk through them and definitely needed to focus on getting through each one. No second dose needed. My doctor was off for the night (and would be back in in the morning). The doctor on call checked me after being monitored for a bit and decided I was still only about 2cm. They were going to send me home except my contractions were very strong and close together and we live rather far away. Instead she broke my water (what a weird feeling!) and we decided to walk around the hospital for a few hours to try to get things going. I was in a lot of pain. Back pain. I had no idea back labour was so bad...and I was having a lot of it. It was far worse to deal with then any pain in my abdomen. Yelch! My husband couldn't rub my back hard enough. I don't think I would wish back labour on anyone. What made it hard was that I couldn't lie down or sit with that back pain which made monitoring difficult. We walked around until about 2:30am. The doctor checked me and I was only 2-3cm dilated! I was really disappointed! I was getting tired too. I continued to labour in triage. I was the only one there at that point. Some lady came in with her partner and someone from the ER. I heard, "this lady needs help." Her partner had apparently stopped the car right outside the ER doors and brought her in. He said he had to go park the car before it got towed, and would do that now that she was in the hands of the nurse. She delivered within 5 minutes (!!!!) and he missed it! I was envious of how fast she delivered (and part of me wanted to strangle her, but I won't get into that!). Somewhere around 4 am I got a shot of morphine for the pain. I couldn't get an epidural until I was transferred to the labour and delivery room I would actually deliver in. The morphine was okay. It took the edge off and made me really dopey in between contractions. Honestly, the time from there until about 6:30 when I was finally transferred to my room is blurry. I have no idea. I was in so much pain. Already about 11 hours of hard contractions 2 minutes apart.
In the room they started the IV to prep me for that epidural, which I finally got around 8am. I was so worried about having these insane contractions while he was doing the epidural, but somehow I managed. I was surprised that it didn't hurt at all...and how fast it works! I was sooo happy after. I could finally rest for a bit. The epidural made me reallllllly itchy though. I wanted to scratch my skin right off my neck, arms and chest!! At this point I was only about 3cm. The epidural stopped my labour so they started pitocin. It took me until about 1:00 to get to 5cm. I was feeling a lot of pressure too. So much so that I was back to doing all that lovely breathing to get through each "contraction" that caused this increase in pressure. Within 20 minutes I went from 5cm right to 10cm. The problem was that my epidural failed in some ways. I wasn't feeling the full pain of the contractions (just insane amounts of pressure), but whenever they did anything (like check me) I could feel it. I was practically crawling over the back of the bed it hurt so much. I also spiked a fever which affected Mason's heart rate so they wanted to start some antibiotics. I started to push and the doctor realized that the baby was in the "Occiput Posterior" position. This means that his head was facing my backbone. Later the doctor told me this is why I had such intense back pain and a longer labour then anticipated. It was decided that I'd better get a 'top-up' of the meds because she was threatening forceps or the vacuum if he didn't turn! They called the anesthesiologist to come back and give me another hard dose. I was so numb I couldn't even lift my legs or even move them. I still had some sensation for whatever reason (probably better for pushing but not fun. I guess I'm a suck) which kind of baffled the doctor. I started pushing again sometime after 3:30 I think. It was really a blur. I remember wondering why they wanted me to push so hard if he was the wrong way. I honestly have little memory of the time between then and 4:02 when Mason was born. I remember turning my head and to the side and closing my eyes saying, "I need a break. I can't do it." I felt something come out and thought maybe that was the head finally. All of a sudden there was this precious little baby on my stomach. I was completely shocked. I fully admit to sobbing like a baby.
I had some not so shining moments during the labour. I didn't yell and cuss like my husband thought I would. I did however swear once kind of loud during a really hard contraction right before I got the epidural. It was a solid "shiiiiiitttt!" through clenched teeth! I was truly amazed at how great I felt after he was born. I was lucky not to have to push for very long either. Gone were the contractions, the back pain and the sciatic nerve pain! I once again had to be numbed while the doctor put 2 small stitches in. Apparently my skin is so sensitive that I had the 2 small tears before I really started pushing. Meh.
Although blurry is my memory, I remember wanting to know what the anesthesiologist's name was so we could name our kid that and saying this would be an only child. It took exactly 2 weeks before I said, "I could seriously do this again." Part of me wants to do it again to see if I can do better, be more alert and less tired. I feel like I missed out in some areas because I was so out of it by the end.
Interestingly enough, about 40 minutes after he was born, a "Code Yellow" came over the hospital speakers. My aunt is a director at the hospital so she new instantly what was going on. She muttered "Shit..are you kidding me?!" Apparently a code yellow means that a baby is missing. Tell this to someone who has just given birth to her life and see how well that goes over. The hospital was instantly locked up so nobody could come in or leave. Luckily the baby was found. The 17 year old father took it or something. I still couldn't rest easy though. Jeesh!
Recovering was okay. The first couple of days it was hard to get in and out of bed and up and down the stairs, but it was doable. In the hospital they had these pads that you bent and cracked and then they'd get all cold...they were great!! At home I settled for a cold compress, but that was only needed for the first couple days. By the end of the first week I felt much better, just a whole lot more tired!
I didn't have 'issues' with hormones while I was pregnant, but after....whoa. I was sooo emotional for the first couple weeks. I cried a lot. Especially while looking at Mason. I also got overwhelmed at times and cried tears of "I can't do this." My biggest emotional upset was watching my husband's dad interact with Mason and thinking about how Mason won't know his other "papa" like this. I remembered all the things I did with my dad and cried for Mason and for myself and this loss. Luckily, I'm feeling a lot better now!! I still get teary watching The Baby Story on TLC. I totally understand now how painful/amazing/exhausting/overwhelming and life altering it can be and every time I watch it, I relive it.
It's hard to describe the pains of labour, but it's even harder to describe just how much you love your child. I can list the reasons I love my husband, but I simply love Mason because he is here and he is mine. I finally understand how much my mom loves me, and we've grown so much more closer since I've become a mom. What a truly amazing thing this motherhood is.
I am so blessed.
I'm not really sure why I feel the need to write about the events of my labour, it's not like I'll ever truly forget! Alas, it's something I want to do. I'm guessing it may get a bit graphic or perhaps a little too much information. My friend K better not read this until after she has her little one! THEN we'll talk girl! Soooo here I go...living through it again, this time without the pain!
We got the call from the hospital just after 9am saying that it wasn't busy and I should come in to be induced. I hung up the phone and just sat there stunned for a moment. I got a little teary eyed thinking 'this is it!' Once we were ready we headed out to the hospital. By the time we got there it was quite a bit busier then they had expected. I waited in triage for most of the afternoon to be induced. My doctor was on-call (as planned) and she popped in to see how I was doing. Somewhere around 3:00 she came and put the first dose of gel in. She gave me the option right before to go home and they could try it next week since my blood pressure was good at that moment. I was there and just wanted to get things going so she went ahead. As soon as she was done I told her I've decided to wait (I can be an ass). Apparently she knows me well enough to know that I was kidding. My doctor had checked me and said I was about 2cm dilated. They had to monitor me for an hour after. I started feeling something almost instantly. Very mild and about 20 minutes apart. No big deal. We were sent home and told that we should come back around 9pm to be checked. If nothing was happening I would receive a second dose of the gel. If I went into labour sooner I could come back. When we got home I opted for a nap. I was awoken at about 7:15 with pains. I knew I was having contractions and they were only about 5 minutes apart. We live about 30 minutes from the hospital so we decided we'd just get ready and head in. In that 30 minute drive my contractions went from being 5 minutes apart to being about 2-3 minutes apart. By the time we were in the labour and delivery triage they were bad enough that I couldn't talk through them and definitely needed to focus on getting through each one. No second dose needed. My doctor was off for the night (and would be back in in the morning). The doctor on call checked me after being monitored for a bit and decided I was still only about 2cm. They were going to send me home except my contractions were very strong and close together and we live rather far away. Instead she broke my water (what a weird feeling!) and we decided to walk around the hospital for a few hours to try to get things going. I was in a lot of pain. Back pain. I had no idea back labour was so bad...and I was having a lot of it. It was far worse to deal with then any pain in my abdomen. Yelch! My husband couldn't rub my back hard enough. I don't think I would wish back labour on anyone. What made it hard was that I couldn't lie down or sit with that back pain which made monitoring difficult. We walked around until about 2:30am. The doctor checked me and I was only 2-3cm dilated! I was really disappointed! I was getting tired too. I continued to labour in triage. I was the only one there at that point. Some lady came in with her partner and someone from the ER. I heard, "this lady needs help." Her partner had apparently stopped the car right outside the ER doors and brought her in. He said he had to go park the car before it got towed, and would do that now that she was in the hands of the nurse. She delivered within 5 minutes (!!!!) and he missed it! I was envious of how fast she delivered (and part of me wanted to strangle her, but I won't get into that!). Somewhere around 4 am I got a shot of morphine for the pain. I couldn't get an epidural until I was transferred to the labour and delivery room I would actually deliver in. The morphine was okay. It took the edge off and made me really dopey in between contractions. Honestly, the time from there until about 6:30 when I was finally transferred to my room is blurry. I have no idea. I was in so much pain. Already about 11 hours of hard contractions 2 minutes apart.
In the room they started the IV to prep me for that epidural, which I finally got around 8am. I was so worried about having these insane contractions while he was doing the epidural, but somehow I managed. I was surprised that it didn't hurt at all...and how fast it works! I was sooo happy after. I could finally rest for a bit. The epidural made me reallllllly itchy though. I wanted to scratch my skin right off my neck, arms and chest!! At this point I was only about 3cm. The epidural stopped my labour so they started pitocin. It took me until about 1:00 to get to 5cm. I was feeling a lot of pressure too. So much so that I was back to doing all that lovely breathing to get through each "contraction" that caused this increase in pressure. Within 20 minutes I went from 5cm right to 10cm. The problem was that my epidural failed in some ways. I wasn't feeling the full pain of the contractions (just insane amounts of pressure), but whenever they did anything (like check me) I could feel it. I was practically crawling over the back of the bed it hurt so much. I also spiked a fever which affected Mason's heart rate so they wanted to start some antibiotics. I started to push and the doctor realized that the baby was in the "Occiput Posterior" position. This means that his head was facing my backbone. Later the doctor told me this is why I had such intense back pain and a longer labour then anticipated. It was decided that I'd better get a 'top-up' of the meds because she was threatening forceps or the vacuum if he didn't turn! They called the anesthesiologist to come back and give me another hard dose. I was so numb I couldn't even lift my legs or even move them. I still had some sensation for whatever reason (probably better for pushing but not fun. I guess I'm a suck) which kind of baffled the doctor. I started pushing again sometime after 3:30 I think. It was really a blur. I remember wondering why they wanted me to push so hard if he was the wrong way. I honestly have little memory of the time between then and 4:02 when Mason was born. I remember turning my head and to the side and closing my eyes saying, "I need a break. I can't do it." I felt something come out and thought maybe that was the head finally. All of a sudden there was this precious little baby on my stomach. I was completely shocked. I fully admit to sobbing like a baby.
I had some not so shining moments during the labour. I didn't yell and cuss like my husband thought I would. I did however swear once kind of loud during a really hard contraction right before I got the epidural. It was a solid "shiiiiiitttt!" through clenched teeth! I was truly amazed at how great I felt after he was born. I was lucky not to have to push for very long either. Gone were the contractions, the back pain and the sciatic nerve pain! I once again had to be numbed while the doctor put 2 small stitches in. Apparently my skin is so sensitive that I had the 2 small tears before I really started pushing. Meh.
Although blurry is my memory, I remember wanting to know what the anesthesiologist's name was so we could name our kid that and saying this would be an only child. It took exactly 2 weeks before I said, "I could seriously do this again." Part of me wants to do it again to see if I can do better, be more alert and less tired. I feel like I missed out in some areas because I was so out of it by the end.
Interestingly enough, about 40 minutes after he was born, a "Code Yellow" came over the hospital speakers. My aunt is a director at the hospital so she new instantly what was going on. She muttered "Shit..are you kidding me?!" Apparently a code yellow means that a baby is missing. Tell this to someone who has just given birth to her life and see how well that goes over. The hospital was instantly locked up so nobody could come in or leave. Luckily the baby was found. The 17 year old father took it or something. I still couldn't rest easy though. Jeesh!
Recovering was okay. The first couple of days it was hard to get in and out of bed and up and down the stairs, but it was doable. In the hospital they had these pads that you bent and cracked and then they'd get all cold...they were great!! At home I settled for a cold compress, but that was only needed for the first couple days. By the end of the first week I felt much better, just a whole lot more tired!
I didn't have 'issues' with hormones while I was pregnant, but after....whoa. I was sooo emotional for the first couple weeks. I cried a lot. Especially while looking at Mason. I also got overwhelmed at times and cried tears of "I can't do this." My biggest emotional upset was watching my husband's dad interact with Mason and thinking about how Mason won't know his other "papa" like this. I remembered all the things I did with my dad and cried for Mason and for myself and this loss. Luckily, I'm feeling a lot better now!! I still get teary watching The Baby Story on TLC. I totally understand now how painful/amazing/exhausting/overwhelming and life altering it can be and every time I watch it, I relive it.
It's hard to describe the pains of labour, but it's even harder to describe just how much you love your child. I can list the reasons I love my husband, but I simply love Mason because he is here and he is mine. I finally understand how much my mom loves me, and we've grown so much more closer since I've become a mom. What a truly amazing thing this motherhood is.
I am so blessed.
6 comments:
Please don't be hard on yourself re: how tired you were near the end. Of course it is hazy & blurry.....that is a lot of damn work!
I remember just wanting to stop when I was in labour with Braeden. I was exhausted & I was only in labour for 11 hours in total.
You did awesome!
Mason is here safe & sound & that is what matters.
I agree... truly amazing. My heart has grown about 100X a day since Trinity was born.
Thank you for sharing your story. I will get around to writing mine soon, but first we're off to Halifax to visit my sister and three nephews!
I can't believe I have gone this long without reading this post! I want a baby!!!
Now... where is my announcement?
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{{sass}}
every mama needs to tell their birthstories...I hope you are having a wonderful babymoon now!
WANTED TO STOP BY AND SAY THANKS FOR YOUR VISIT TO AND COMMENT ON MY BLOG. ENJOYED MY VISIT HERE TO YOURS.
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